|
|
The Unity candle is being used more and more. Usually, in my area there are 2 candles, one on either side of the big candle which are lit by the mothers at the start of the ceremony. The two smaller candles symbolize the two people who will be joined as one. After the vows are taken then the minister will step aside so that the couple may then take the candles and light the main candle. After doing so, they blow out the smaller candles showing the establishment of a new family. Out of two comes one!
|
As soon as you have answered "YES" to the question you will want to announce it to all your friends and relatives. You may choose to do it with a picture in your local hometown newspaper(s) and an announcement. Some papers, particularly the large metropolitan papers may have a set policy on this. Some may say that you may have either an engagement picture or wedding picture but not both. They publish over a much broader area than the local papers. They will say that because of the area covered fewer people will be interested. Maybe they will only publish a small 3-4 line announcement, no picture! The smaller papers will probably not have this policy.
You may set an approximate date but depending on where you want to have the ceremony you will have to go by the schedule of the place. They may have the place scheduled for that exact time. You may wish to be flexible on this. Generally, if you set it far enough ahead you may probably get your preference.
If you are getting married in a church, the pastor, priest, or rabbi will probably wish to talk with you about your future life together and the expectations you will each have of the other. This is an opportunity for the two of you to talk together and exchange ideas about your expectations of the other. You may decide that you're really not suited for one another. Sometimes in the atmosphere of courtship, your judgement of the other is clouded. Your counselor may help to crystalize your ideas of significant other. Churches will vary in this policy, one church may have a 6 month period of counseling with several different mentors, another church may have a cursory policy of mainly setting up the details of the ceremony. It could be different if you are getting married in your home church as opposed to finding a church which will marry you on a particular date. If you don't have a church of your own, this may be the case.
Choose your attendants carefully. They may have a schedule that conflicts with your schedule. This does not mean that they will not be flattered by your invitation to be a part of your wedding. But particularly with a long lead time before the wedding, their plans may change, you will probably have to be flexible about this.
Remember that not all people that you'd like to have be your attendants may have the finances to allow them to buy or rent the appropriate clothing. You will have to decide whether you will provide this clothing. How often will the Best Man be able to use a $150.00 tuxedo? The same is true for your female attendants. You may wish to provide clothing for them which they can use later as a dressy dress. Rental tuxes are generally satisfactory for the men and are not as expensive as buying the clothing. Your will probably choose your best friends for this honor. Remember that they may have some thoughts on the matter also.
You will want to shop among several stores that offer bridal registries as a service to your friends and relatives who wish to purchase gifts for the new bride and groom.
You will have to budget for your wedding so as to determine how extensive your wedding decorations or wedding bouquet will be. You will probably want to have the bouquet, boutenaires, corsages for your mothers at the least, then if there is room in the budget for church flowers, candles, reception flowers, etc. Consult with the provider of these services well in advance. The service will probably also require a down-payment for their services to avoid making up an order and arriving at the church to find another provider also providing the services.
Perhaps you have determined that the reception will be held at the church. Or perhaps you've determined that there will be too many people for that hall or that you wish to have a more extensive reception than just cake and punch and opening presents. You will have to book the appropriate size hall to accomodate your guests and activities. You may wish to have a dinner, perhaps you want a late afternoon wedding and you will want to serve a meal for the guests before you have the remaining activities of Cake Cutting, Toasting, and Gift Opening. You may want to schedule a dance as a part of your activities. These halls are generally booked months ahead of time.
You will have to shop for someone who will provide a cake and if you decide to have more
than nuts, mints and punch, the meal. Shop carefully, consult with your friends who have gone through this process before, they may have some thoughts as to their experiences with caterers and providers. Your beautiful wedding may be spoiled by the services at the reception. You may wish to use some of your friends to serve the food. You would then be including more people in your wedding without using them in the bridal party. They could then choose their own clothing for the occasion instead of having a dress which they may never wear again.
Be sure to allow enough time for obtaining your invitations if you are having them printed.
You will also need to allow enough time for the addressing, etc. and decisions as to who you wish to send them to. You may wish to include in your public engagement announcement whether you will send invitations or not. If this is the case, you should time the announcement to appear within a couple of weeks of the actual event.
Photographers are busy people and must be booked in advance, even if you are using your friend to take the pictures. You will probably be required to put down an advance payment to book the wedding. Some studios may take the engagement announcement gratis for booking the wedding. Some photographers may have had bad experiences with the amateur photographers taking pictures at the wedding which have soured them on having any cameras other than theirs at the wedding. Follow his/her suggestions on this. Consult with him frequently, remembering that he will possibly only know you and your future mate at the wedding. If he wishes to have a script of what to take, follow this suggestion. You will not regret it. It's mainly so that he has a good idea of how many pictures he will need to take so that he will bring enough film to do the job correctly
The fun part is deciding where and when you will go on your honeymoon. There is always
the possibility that you will immediately have to go to work on the Monday following your wedding. You may decide to wait until you have a vacation time to do this. Be sure to allow enough money in the budget for this occasion, it's not enjoyable to discover in the midst of your honeymoon that you don't have enough money to get back.
Enjoy your life together, remember that there are two people involved in your marriage, you
should plan to give each other more than 50% consideration of the other's wishes. That way the way will be smoother for you in your life together. You will have arguments but remember when things get rough why you married the other person. |
Return to portal page of this freeservers site.
Madison Home Page authored and maintained by Ron Marriage
Download Communicator Now!
Download Communicator Now! You can reach me by e-mail at: 
Pages authored by Don Wood
Link to Homesite web site.